I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
