Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
