Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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