Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Buhtt sex?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
vagina is talking i cant
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
