Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
