He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
that's an acceptable place to lick
time to smoke my breakfast
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
