Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
