Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
