So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
