I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
