I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
