found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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