Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
