I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
