when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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