I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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