Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
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You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
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I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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