I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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