Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The power of my boobs compel you
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
