btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He has the fingertips of a God
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