Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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