She is in my trunk
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
