So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
