i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize