I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
