Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
