im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
