Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
