new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
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He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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