Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My life is pants optional.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
