after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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