he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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