Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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