oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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