i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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