I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
