just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
