she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We are all done wearing pants today
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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