Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
