my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
