He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
why is half of my head shaved?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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