it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
