I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
