My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
