The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
