her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize