The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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