I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
