It's just like the Real World with babies
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
