Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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