Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize