there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
