so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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