They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize