I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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