I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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