I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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