I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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