from now on my penis is your penis
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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